The Tea War
by chieffan110
Summary: This is a quick, fail one-shot. China and England are bickering about who's tea is better.


**Note: Don't hate, this is a one-shot inspired by my friends bickering about the same question. I know this is a fail, it was written in one sitting. Happy for any advice/reviews on my story. Thank you.**

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I was sick at my house, it was early in the morning and I wasn't expecting anything unusual to happen. I lived in a quiet, secluded house in the north. I was also ignored or unnoticed by many other people. But I was a country. And there were other countries who I knew that had strange personalities.

So while I was enjoying my favorite breakfast, pancakes (expected), my back door was bashed open. Out of instinct I grabbed my best hockey stick and crept to the back door. I waited there and heard shuffling around the wall, when I turned around the corner and held up my hockey stick, I did not expect to see England and China staring at me with wide eyes, their punches at each other momentarily paused.

I lowered my stick, glowered at them, and asked quietly, "Why are you here..?"

"I don't know. Was it you England, aru!?" China answered.

"No I swear!" England said back.

"Guys..." Canada asked.

"Gunpowder Tea is better!" China yelled.

"No, black tea is!"

"Guys..."

"You wanna bet!"

"Definetly."

"You-"

Both England and China were unable to talk, for they had been smacked in the head by my hockey stick, making them unconscious. "Finally... Now I have to go take my medicine." I said, taking the medicine and grabbing a box of tissues to bring upstairs to my own room.

I turned on the TV and watched random shows until I found one of my favorites, Sherlock Holmes. After about seven minutes of that I heard my door open, and there was England by the door.

"H-hello? Canada? How did I end up unconscious on the floor in your dining room?" he asked.

"Both you and China came over, arguing about tea and I am sick and had a headache so... I used my hockey stick." I answered.

"Oh... well would you like me to get you some tea to help?"

"That would be a pleasure, thank you."

England nodded then walked out of the room.

After going through 30 minutes of more TV, I checked the time and realized how late it was. How long did it take to make tea? I decided to get up and go check on England.

Dang it, I was tired and I didn't feel like having someone at my home for the moment. I pushed away those bad thoughts and instead focused on politely asking England what took so long.

The sight I was met with was not what I expected. There was a ripped open teabag, water everywhere on the floor, spilled sugar, and two arguing nations rolling around on the floor. I stood there in shock.

'I will not murder them. I will not murder them. I will not murder them,' I kept repeating in my head. To keep myself from doing just that I started banging my head against the wall and just walked upstairs, I would deal with it later. It was late, around eight or nine. I decided to once again settle down and watch TV and eventually I fell asleep.

I stirred in my sleep, hearing something. I kept blinking, trying to get the sleep out of my eyes, I yelped in alarm and punched the two faces standing over me.

"Oi! What was that for?!" a familiar voice yelled.

"Ai yah! That hurt, aru," another familiar voice said.

I immediatly realized who the intruders were and answered in my normal hushed voice, "What are you doing in my room?!"

"Asking you a question, aru," replied China.

"What?" I said, exhausted.

"Gunpowder tea, from China, or black tea, from England?"

I stared at them in shock, tea?

"I prefer coffee, now get out of my house, I'm sick," my Mountie side kicked in and I finally got the courage and heart to kick them out.

"I am not leaving here until you answer our question!" they yelled simultaneously. "IN THE NAME OF THE TEA WAR!" China pulled back his robe to show a Chinese flag shirt. England pulled out a small English flag on a stick and began waving it as fast as he could, smiling creepily.

I sighed, I actually felt kind of bad for them. But I was tired and sick and annoyed. I reached across the bed and picked up my cell phone on my side table and dialed in my neighbor's number, asking him to come over quickly. After hanging up I glared at China and England, smirking slightly at them as well.

A few seconds later a crash was heard and the house shook along with a loud laugh, "THE HERO IS HERE, MATTIE!"

"GET UP HERE AMERICA!" I yelled back, scaring China and England.

America quickly obeyed and banged open the door, "Hey Mattie~"

"Can you please get rid of these two." I said motioning to the two listening countries, England still waving his mini flag.

"Why should I?" America answered sadly. Apparently he had hoped to be called to his brother's house for something exciting.

"Because you would be my hero and if you don't I will beat you up as much as I did at our last hockey match, that I of course won."

America's face was one of utter horror and did not argue. He quickly picked up the two nations by their shirts. England waved his flag the whole way out of the house and China screamed, "THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA WILL HAUNT YOU NORTH AMERICAN BROTHERS!"

I sighed, remembering one last thing. I yelled outside to America, "YOU BETTER NOT HAVE DESTROYED MY HOUSE WITH YOUR CAR!" After that last comment I settled down and finally got a relaxing nap in my own house, alone.


End file.
